escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Come share oat with me in your robe
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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