Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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