Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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