you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
He did a backflip because drugs
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Randomize
