Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
