it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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