dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Randomize
