I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
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