And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
