I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Randomize
