Dual....:-)
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Randomize
