well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
