arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
