need another drink. this is the easiest way
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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