We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
