Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Randomize
