I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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