i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
