I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
