I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Randomize
