She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
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