Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
