And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I supernannyed him into submission
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
