So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
