Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
