so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Randomize
