you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
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