puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize