whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
