someone get that fucking seahorse.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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