I have demons in me.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Randomize
