Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
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