we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize