matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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