i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
why is half of my head shaved?
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