This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
