There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
