I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Randomize
