We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Randomize
