I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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