Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
