I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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