Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
