The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
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