Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
she was so not down for the gang bang
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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