SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Randomize
