So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
no you cant smoke seaweed
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
