Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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