i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
