i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
