so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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