Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(713): View more from Texas

She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"

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(317): View more from Indiana

The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad

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(919): View more from North Carolina

At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?

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(314): View more from Missouri

Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine

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(440): View more from Ohio

somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me

(310): View more from California

maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA

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(708): View more from Illinois

They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters

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(201): View more from New Jersey

Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?

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(712): View more from Iowa

I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”

(563): View more from Iowa

A gentleman AND a scholar

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