No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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