Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
