I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
