Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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