Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Randomize
