Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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