Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Randomize
