I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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