He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
vagina is talking i cant
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Randomize
