This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Randomize